Kiwi is holding her own. Her appetite has diminished greatly. Twice a day I try to find something that she will eat. If I get her to eat it in the morning, she doesn't want it later in the day. I am assuming that she wants to eat because she still sits near me when I am at the table, but then doesn't want the food. I know that when both my mother and Aunt were sick both said they wanted to eat, but just couldn't. It was a real struggle for both of them. I assume that is what is going on with her. It just breaks my heart.
I have been out of work since my company closed in 2009. Not totally out of work, but for the most part. I tutor at school and I am also a Per Diem waitress at an assisted living facility. I have to find a real job this summer one that pays more than minimum wage. So, with that in mind I decided back in March to sign up for a certified nursing assistant program that is being sponsored by the college and the local hospital.
I figured it couldn't hurt and I should be able to find some kind of job. I am actually looking forward to it. The program is for 4 weeks at night (4 - 9). The class starts tonight. This week is all class room and next week starts the clinical. I guess after this week there will be classes a few more times, but mostly clinical. We'll see how it goes.
I had to go buy a set of scrubs for the clinical piece and of course because I live in boonville - I had to go out of town to find a store. I was actually able to find a pair.
I only have 2 weeks left for college classes. My on-line class we are just preparing for the final and my micro-biology class & lab I am pretty much done. I am psyched because I do not have to take the final in that class. Yippee.
Wish me luck for tonight.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
End of Life decision
The weather has been crazy wild. I have family in north Georgia. Spent most of last night texting between different family members about how they were holding up. My father, stepmother, and my sister and her family live in Rome, GA. My sister is a labor & delivery nurse (manager). She was at the hospital with my nephew. They had moved the patients and the babies into the hallways away from windows. My parents were at their home (on a mountain) because they have dogs and didn't want to leave them. They were hungered down in an interior bathroom riding out the storm. Pretty scary stuff.
I know they are all safe, but at this point I don't know how much damage they sustained. Hopefully, not much. I am also thinking about all the hikers who are out on the trail in GA, NC, TN, and VA. I am praying that nobody has been hurt.
My partner and I have two dogs and a cat. One of the dogs has chronic kidney disease. We are at the point where we are doing once a day subcutaneous fluid. We take turns doing the actual procedure. At first, I was really apprehensive about doing the needle insertion, but have gotten much better at it. The cat also has kidney disease, but has not had the issues that the dog has.
We also have another dog that has transitional cell carcinoma of the bladder. We found it last October. She has done surprisingly well. She was taking a 1 ml dose of NSAIDs along with another med to help coat her stomach. The past week has not been good. She pretty much is sleeping most of the time. Up until last week - she seemed to be doing well. She is barely eating one meal a day at this point. Can't even really get her to eat any treats. We have stopped the meds to see if that would help with appetite. My guess is that the cancer has spread and it is a matter of time. I spoke to the vet about the next steps. I do not want her to suffer at all. I asked the vet when I would know when it was time and he said I will know. She is still drinking and urinating ok. I am torn as to when to go to the next step. I do not want to jump the gun, but I also do not want her to be in any pain. Hard to know when. As soon as she has issues drinking or relieving herself - we will make the call.
I am heart broken about what comes next because she has been such a wonderful part of my life for the past 13 years. She hiked the entire AT in Mass with me, except for maybe one section. Had she been younger when I started my hiking journey - I would have taken her with me. I look at her and I just start crying.
The one thing that I do like is that we can make the decision before she begins to suffer. I was with both my mother and her sister when they succumbed to cancer and they both suffered. Had I been able to help them not suffer I would have done it. Making the decision or watching them suffer. Both are difficult, but the latter causes them pain and the former causes you pain. I would have gladly taken the pain.
I know they are all safe, but at this point I don't know how much damage they sustained. Hopefully, not much. I am also thinking about all the hikers who are out on the trail in GA, NC, TN, and VA. I am praying that nobody has been hurt.
My partner and I have two dogs and a cat. One of the dogs has chronic kidney disease. We are at the point where we are doing once a day subcutaneous fluid. We take turns doing the actual procedure. At first, I was really apprehensive about doing the needle insertion, but have gotten much better at it. The cat also has kidney disease, but has not had the issues that the dog has.
We also have another dog that has transitional cell carcinoma of the bladder. We found it last October. She has done surprisingly well. She was taking a 1 ml dose of NSAIDs along with another med to help coat her stomach. The past week has not been good. She pretty much is sleeping most of the time. Up until last week - she seemed to be doing well. She is barely eating one meal a day at this point. Can't even really get her to eat any treats. We have stopped the meds to see if that would help with appetite. My guess is that the cancer has spread and it is a matter of time. I spoke to the vet about the next steps. I do not want her to suffer at all. I asked the vet when I would know when it was time and he said I will know. She is still drinking and urinating ok. I am torn as to when to go to the next step. I do not want to jump the gun, but I also do not want her to be in any pain. Hard to know when. As soon as she has issues drinking or relieving herself - we will make the call.
I am heart broken about what comes next because she has been such a wonderful part of my life for the past 13 years. She hiked the entire AT in Mass with me, except for maybe one section. Had she been younger when I started my hiking journey - I would have taken her with me. I look at her and I just start crying.
The one thing that I do like is that we can make the decision before she begins to suffer. I was with both my mother and her sister when they succumbed to cancer and they both suffered. Had I been able to help them not suffer I would have done it. Making the decision or watching them suffer. Both are difficult, but the latter causes them pain and the former causes you pain. I would have gladly taken the pain.
Monday, April 25, 2011
What's is a Birch?
What is a Birch? Technically, it is a tree that has really great bark for starting fires. And, it's me.
I actually acquired the name back a few decades ago when I played rugby in college. My teammates came up with it. It is actually the shortened version of Bircheweitz. I went to a predominately Jewish school on Long Island and the girls wanted me to feel like I belonged. We ended up shortening it to Birch.
Jump ahead to 2007. I started a thru hike of the Appalachian Trail (AT). Everyone who hikes the AT has a trail name. Hardly anyone uses their real name while hiking. I was no exception. But, instead of letting my fellow hikers come up with a moniker - I decided to resurrect Birch. It has an outdoorsy flavor to it and I already came when called. So, Birch it was.
Now, the question is why use it now? Why not. I decided it would be easier to just keep using it for this blog. So, again Birch it is.
I actually acquired the name back a few decades ago when I played rugby in college. My teammates came up with it. It is actually the shortened version of Bircheweitz. I went to a predominately Jewish school on Long Island and the girls wanted me to feel like I belonged. We ended up shortening it to Birch.
Jump ahead to 2007. I started a thru hike of the Appalachian Trail (AT). Everyone who hikes the AT has a trail name. Hardly anyone uses their real name while hiking. I was no exception. But, instead of letting my fellow hikers come up with a moniker - I decided to resurrect Birch. It has an outdoorsy flavor to it and I already came when called. So, Birch it was.
Now, the question is why use it now? Why not. I decided it would be easier to just keep using it for this blog. So, again Birch it is.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Here we go...
Well, I have decided to enter the realm of blogging. Between 2007 and 2010, I hiked the Appalachian Trail and I kept an online journal of my hike. www.trailjournals.com/birch. I really enjoyed keeping the journal at the time. Didn't feel there was a need to keep blogging, so I stopped.
Well, I have decided to start a new blog because I have a lot of things going on. I am currently a pre-nursing student at a small community college in Massachusetts. I was thinking it might have been nice to read some blogs about what to expect in nursing school. I have recently found some and will start to read. But, I thought it might be interesting to post a different perspective on the whole college experience since I am quite a bit older than your typical student nurse. I am 48 years old. And currently, a Disenfranchised American Worker.
I graduated back in 1988 with a B.B.A in Business Computers. Spent 21 years working my way through the IT world. Did really well being a geek and made it up to the Director of Systems Development for a major toy retailer who then proceeded to go belly up. Lost my job in 2009. It was sad. But, I was more sad for all my co-workers than for myself. For me it was an opportunity of a lifetime. I was able to continue my hike (which I finished in August of 2010), and I was able to go back to school. I decided to go back to school for nursing.
Being that I was a computer geek I had a whole lot of science classes that I needed to take before I could actually apply to nursing school. Beginning in the fall of 2009 - I went back to school to take a whole lot of science classes. Those classes like biology, chemistry, A&P, microbiology that you need before they even let you start to think about touching anyone. All sorts of scary stuff. I was pretty nervous because I didn't do well in Bio & Chemistry back in HS. And, figured it was going to be tough. It was, but I surprised myself and have done pretty well. So, now I am at the point of applying to different nursing programs.
Basically decided to only apply to two schools. One a state university and the other a state community college. I did the private college the first time around and can't justify the expense at this point in my life.
This is where the first big decision comes in. I have two potential paths to chose from. Path one - is to stay at the community college where I am at. I have been accepted to their nursing program. This will give me an Associates in Nursing in two school years. I can then apply to their bridge program with the State University and complete the BSN in another year. Three years to get the BSN. Path two - is to go to directly to the State University. They offer a 2nd Bachelor's program where you earn the BSN in about 18 months. At this point, I haven't been accepted but should hear pretty soon.
The issue is what is the most prudent cost effective choice? The 2nd path is going to cost at least 45K including living expenses. It is hard to justify that kind of money at this point in my life. I have spoken to some nurses - some say you need the BSN, some say you don't. They say it depends on what you want to do. Honestly, at this point I have no idea. Meaning specifics. I can be like the young kids who are in my classes now who think they want to be an NP or something else. But, I am realistic. Until I actually have some kind of clinical experience I am in no position to say what I want to do.
This is where I am at right now. I am going ahead and registering for the ASN program for next fall. Once I find out for sure about whether or not I have been accepted to the BSN program I will need to make "the decision".
Well, I have decided to start a new blog because I have a lot of things going on. I am currently a pre-nursing student at a small community college in Massachusetts. I was thinking it might have been nice to read some blogs about what to expect in nursing school. I have recently found some and will start to read. But, I thought it might be interesting to post a different perspective on the whole college experience since I am quite a bit older than your typical student nurse. I am 48 years old. And currently, a Disenfranchised American Worker.
I graduated back in 1988 with a B.B.A in Business Computers. Spent 21 years working my way through the IT world. Did really well being a geek and made it up to the Director of Systems Development for a major toy retailer who then proceeded to go belly up. Lost my job in 2009. It was sad. But, I was more sad for all my co-workers than for myself. For me it was an opportunity of a lifetime. I was able to continue my hike (which I finished in August of 2010), and I was able to go back to school. I decided to go back to school for nursing.
Being that I was a computer geek I had a whole lot of science classes that I needed to take before I could actually apply to nursing school. Beginning in the fall of 2009 - I went back to school to take a whole lot of science classes. Those classes like biology, chemistry, A&P, microbiology that you need before they even let you start to think about touching anyone. All sorts of scary stuff. I was pretty nervous because I didn't do well in Bio & Chemistry back in HS. And, figured it was going to be tough. It was, but I surprised myself and have done pretty well. So, now I am at the point of applying to different nursing programs.
Basically decided to only apply to two schools. One a state university and the other a state community college. I did the private college the first time around and can't justify the expense at this point in my life.
This is where the first big decision comes in. I have two potential paths to chose from. Path one - is to stay at the community college where I am at. I have been accepted to their nursing program. This will give me an Associates in Nursing in two school years. I can then apply to their bridge program with the State University and complete the BSN in another year. Three years to get the BSN. Path two - is to go to directly to the State University. They offer a 2nd Bachelor's program where you earn the BSN in about 18 months. At this point, I haven't been accepted but should hear pretty soon.
The issue is what is the most prudent cost effective choice? The 2nd path is going to cost at least 45K including living expenses. It is hard to justify that kind of money at this point in my life. I have spoken to some nurses - some say you need the BSN, some say you don't. They say it depends on what you want to do. Honestly, at this point I have no idea. Meaning specifics. I can be like the young kids who are in my classes now who think they want to be an NP or something else. But, I am realistic. Until I actually have some kind of clinical experience I am in no position to say what I want to do.
This is where I am at right now. I am going ahead and registering for the ASN program for next fall. Once I find out for sure about whether or not I have been accepted to the BSN program I will need to make "the decision".
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